Writing this post I feel a little like the John Lewis bear who has woken from his hibernation in time for cheer of Christmas – in my case, a return to blogging after a long and unexplainable absence, and now struggling to get my writing claws out and paw out a sentence.
Nevertheless I have missed the emotional venting and opinionated rants that first coloured my Marzipan & Marmite entries, and now materialise after, or worse during, a particularly long and eventful day at the office… the emoticon and bold/underline/highlight being my new and alternative form of written relief, and Buzzfeed’s lists being my new master. Consequently, in the manner of the said lists maestro, I thought I would share a few of the grammatical, written and verbal sins that have loomed in my five month truancy from blogging –
1) Acronyms. TFI, EOP, YoY and TGIF are among those that litter my vocabulary. ILCNGE (I literally cannot get enough).
2) Hi all – where all has come, erroneously, to mean two or more people.
3) Exclamation marks – often used to imply a sense of humour, but usually masking a feeling of disbelief – particularly when used in conjunction with a question mark e.g. Did he really say that?! (Real meaning – I don’t believe you)
4) Cc’ing people in emails unnecessarily – typically my manager to stress a heinous work load, regardless of their involvement.
5) Signing my emails off with one letter ‘V’, because Vanessa seems far too many characters and suggests a level of formality.
6) Ending any email with “do let me know if you have any questions?” I have found that this often has the opposite effect of silencing the recipient.
7) Allergic (in ways) to conference calls. Hello stutter and Darth Vader style deep breathing.
8) The overall commercialisation of my language – from mastering media jargon to “going on holiday” replaced with “on annual leave”.
9) Finding that I have a serious issue with cutting words out – apparently I am superfluous and grow too attached to my power point slides… Who knew?
10) Calibri. I have found my font friend.
11) A call out to the audience… Do you have anything to add? Please do so in the comments.
You’ve got Mail – simpler online times…